HH Journal 10 -Decayin’ While I’m Prayin’

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Topic: Reflect on where you were before this semester, and where you stand now afterwards.

Before the semester started, I was in all sorts of stories. I got to watch them unravel or wind up. It’s weird I’ll tell you that. I’m not the same person I was before the semester, but I don’t think that bothers me too much. It’s not that I wasn’t a fan of that girl before, but I like who I am now too. I liked them both, for different reasons.

One gave me hope in ideals bigger than man while the other helped me walk away from chasing something that can’t be captured.

My body feels different, as does my mind. My mind has made some new tracts in my mind, and every now and then I go down those tracts. Its fun to see where they lead. My mind didn’t do a 360 though. I am who I am. I can look in the mirror and see a familiar face. The thing is that it’s a face that has seen the four seasons and has grown past them.

I’m solid. I’m doing pretty good. I’m not turning into brittle, or however that expression goes. I’m not crumbling under stress or withering with the wind. I’m far from decaying. I feel as though I was that plant someone forgot to water, and now that the rain has finally come, I’m turning all sorts of green. So let me grow. Let me do my thing.

My thing isn’t wrong or strange or absurd. It’s just my way of living. I feel as though I’m going to be reaching all new heights in the near future. And I am excited for them. Both hands clasped together you’ll find me there praying. Praying for all sorts of things. Most importantly though, I’m praying for those ideals I realized were beyond anyone’s reach.

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