In All Modesty

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I like to jump from one thing to another.

It keeps me busy,

It keeps me sane.

It is such a problematic trait though.

I just throw, and throw, and throw,

Until all my energies are gone;

Depleted, defeated, destroyed.

 

There is a picture that I do not like to see;

A future of just me.

 

That’s not to say that I don’t like myself.

I love myself,

In all modesty.

 

I am strong and smart and capable.

Not nearly as ambitious and competitive as I used to be,

But I am trying.

The thought of being stripped of my family, friends, and potential loves is terrifying.

It’s lonely and bleak.

It is a recurring thought, largely ungrounded, but there.

It’s pervasive and sick, but I must question why it is an unnecessary weight that I bear.

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