Slayin’ when I’m playin’

Because nothing is stable when my pillars start swayin’

They were the only things I was taught to rely upon.

So when the ground started rumbling,

I had to teach myself how to go on,

Relying on myself to not go down tumbling.

No, I was forced to learn to stand tall.

So don’t ask me why I’m playing this game in a city full of wanna-be-winners.

I’m climbing high over this pile of questioning sinners.

They made me, yes,

But I built myself to where I want to be.

I won’t be anything less,

Than that vision I hold of me.


HH: Daily Journal 2 – The Game Plan


Topic: Where do you see yourself in the near future?

Oh dear, oh dear. That question only amplifies the stress load.

I see myself hopefully graduating early. I’ll be doing my internship in a year from now, and I’ll be taking some of my final courses. I will have probably decided if I want to do the Peace Corps or not by then. In a year from now I hope that I have my game plan all nice and polished. I hope I’m ready to go.

I made the outline for it just the other day, and I see my new adviser next week. We’ll see how it goes. I’m crossing my fingers for smooth sailing from here.

As for everything non-academically focused, the Lord only knows. I’ve thrown my hands up and said “let the wind take me where it pleases.” I don’t have enough energy to try to keep everything in check. I’ll hopefully be integrated in a church next semester since I still have yet to go to one up here. I’ll hopefully be volunteering more too if I can somehow find the time.

I want to go hiking frequently too! It’s the one thing I haven’t been able to do too much so far. I want to go adventuring.

Everything else is kind of like a blur of colors. Things will surely pop up and others will die down. I can’t say for sure whether or not I’ll be faced with pressing issues or concepts in the near future, but  can say that I want school to be a constant focus. I want to graduate a year early. Let’s see if I can make this happen.

I want to be able to travel if I graduate early, and then I’d consider joining the Peace Corps, going straight for my Master’s, or simply entering the job/internship world.



I met this guy a few weeks ago.

He was so perceptive and kind.

I didn’t know him then,

And it’s a perplexing matter with men.

Never had I met someone so interesting and outgoing.

He painted my future and aspirations;

He knew where I stood before I learned how to walk.

I think people like that change people like me.

They see a world of opportunities that I can’t seem to see.

It was a chance encounter,

That I remember so clearly,

Because I held onto his words so dearly.

It hit my like a hurricane;

Hit me like a storm.

And now I’m faced with a new set of norms.

I won’t hang onto the person,

Or idealize the setting.

I’ll cling to what was said,

Because I was hungry,

And now I am fed.

It Hit Me Now


It’s hit me now.
Mouth agape, ushering a wow.
Not a regretful one at that,
But one that leaves me perplexed just at,
Where it is we stand.

I liked where it was going.
There was a thrill in never knowing.
But know I need to know.
Will this stream come to flow,
Or will a dam obstruct it so.
Nothing has yet been planned.

I’d love to go with the wind,
Find myself out.
Undo what’s been pinned;
Know without a doubt.

I want the excitement that I took as my own.
I have my own questions whose answers go unknown.
I don’t know what it is I’m asking though.
I just don’t want to hear another no.

To These Fears


These may not be the words you want to hear,
But I’ll say them just in case.
There is much in the world that we ought to fear,
As there is so much we’re left to trace.

So you can go back,
Look for your prints upon the sand.
But chances are they’ll be nothing left to track,
As this is the way of our land.

You can look ahead and do your best to hide away.
Prevent what you can,
Take precautions each and every day,
Like this is some sort of strategic plan.

Or you can act ignorant to it all.
You can try to live a carefree life,
But the danger will never stall.
It is the shirt above the knife.

There is no right or wrong to be drawn.
These days are yours.
These days are rapidly gone.
Your fears surface within your very pores.

Don’t sit back and try to trace,
Or begrudge our given land.
Don’t ignore the hidden knife,
Or clog up your sunken pores.
To these fears there is a face.
To these dangers there is stand.
To these doubts there is a life.
To these questions there are answers, but they are entirely yours.