Interlock Shock

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My mind hasn’t gone down that road in quite a long time.

At first there was curiosity,

But then there was honest to God fear.

I’m on my own path as it is,

And it’s definitely the one I want to be on.
But there are times I recall the old road;

There is no interlock between these two nodes.

Sometimes I worry about its maintenance and care,

But something tells me these are thoughts I can’t share.

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HH Journal 7 – Chasing Boulders

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Topic: Do you ever go after something you shouldn’t have?

I call it chasing boulders, and I certainly have. It’s when you’re running after something because you want it so bad or because you feel as though you have to. ¬†All the while, you’re running after something possibly bigger than you, smarter than you, faster than you, better than you, etc etc. Whatever your boulder is, you seem to come to the conclusion that you can actually reach this boulder, stop it, and therein grasp it.

For starters, this is a boulder we’re talking about. It’s massive and strong. It is terrifying to behold too. Secondly, it carries more force than you, and it gains so much momentum going downhill. How you can ever so much as reach it is beyond reason. Thirdly, it’s going downhill for a reason. Some things are meant to escape or leave your realm. Finally, if you were somehow able to reach it and grab it, how would you grasp it in your hands? And what would you do with it once you have it?

Those are surely big questions. Maybe even painful questions.

I’ve done my fair share of chasing boulders. I might be chasing my own boulder of sorts right now. The only thing worse than chasing a boulder is having a boulder chase you. That is when you really take in the weight this boulder carries.

Unload

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They’re different, you see?

Complete opposites to me.

I want something from both.

It’d go against my oath,

And maybe I went into this from the wrong angle.

Maybe the first is too far into a mangle.

So that leaves the second of the two.

Do I leave the first, for something entirely new?

Or do I keep to the system.

Play with the present.

Move on when the curtains go down.

There won’t be any applause at the end of that road.

Maybe it’s time to unload.

Left From My Right

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I sprinted from my mission.
I was afraid of what submission,
Would mean for me;
Whether I’d be free.
But am I free if I’m lost?
Then again that idea never crossed,
My mind,
My spirit.

I didn’t know I was lost.
Someone had to tell me.
I couldn’t tell my left hand from my right.
Someone had to show me.

So I have to race back to my mission.
I have to move from my contrition.
It’s holding us back,
And it blurs our track.