Unload

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They’re different, you see?

Complete opposites to me.

I want something from both.

It’d go against my oath,

And maybe I went into this from the wrong angle.

Maybe the first is too far into a mangle.

So that leaves the second of the two.

Do I leave the first, for something entirely new?

Or do I keep to the system.

Play with the present.

Move on when the curtains go down.

There won’t be any applause at the end of that road.

Maybe it’s time to unload.

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Why We Do What We Do

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Topic: Why do we do the things we do?

I don’t think I have the authority or thorough understanding to speak for all people of all cultures of all lands. But I can speak for myself.

I do what I do because it feels right. Maybe morally right, maybe sensationally or heart-fully right. There can even be the logical rightness. I never go out into the world thinking: ‘today I’ll do whatever feels wrong.’ Uncomfortable? Maybe, if it what I know is right or sensible.

I do what I do in school because I feel as though I should. I feel like I should try to get straight As, and as though I should follow down a path that will hopefully lead to success or happiness because that is what my individualistic culture taught me to strive for.

I do what I do with friends because it feels right to have fun and joke around and so on. I don’t do some outrageous shenanigans because I wouldn’t feel right doing them. I’m not perfect either, but then again who is? That’s not a phrase to live by though. You shouldn’t justify your behaviors or attitudes by saying that at least someone has done something far worse. You should be who you would feel happy to be. Although, I believe we all have that gap between our idealized self and our real self. But that is getting to psychology-based.

I do what I do when it comes to certain people because it feels right. It might not always feel right, or maybe that rightness ranges in degree. What is right at one point may not be right at another point. History tells us that though. We just have to be open to learning that truth.

So I do what I do because I feel like it is right. On the linear scale of rightness, it can definitely range. The day I start doing what’s wrong for the sake of another’s satisfaction is the day I’ll have to question my reasonings.

Attractive Options

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I’m on the wrong side of the road,
But I like the perspective from here.
Thoughts easily flowed,
And I think I like what I hear.

There’s another attractive option from my right,
And it might be something I’d go for.
I’d like to say that it’s upright,
But I know it’s against what I swore.

Journal #67 – Right Back at Ya

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Topic: Name a compassionate way you’ve supported a friend recently. Then write down how you can do the same for yourself.

I listened to what my friend had to say about her current situation with a certain someone. I heard her out, and gave her the best advice that I could think of. I did what I could under the circumstances placed upon me.

Was it the right advice? I have no idea; I hope so. That’s all your friends really can do when it comes to addressing your own problems involving unfamiliar components. They can hear you out, listen to what you have to say, try to understand where you’re coming from as well as your feelings, and then give advice if they feel like advice can be given.

That’s the defining thing about friendship; you just have to be there, whenever needed, and be glad to offer an ear, a shoulder, and your time. That’s what I try to do for all of my friends. Sometimes there are people who find it hard to keep up with you or simply forget or don’t realize its importance. Those are the people one usually let’s go of, or addresses right out in the open. It’s not always their fault, but it doesn’t make it necessarily okay.

I could do the same thing to myself, as I had done for my friend. I could sit myself down, and reflect on my own situation. I could ask myself the hard questions, and listen to what my mind has to say. The difficult part is finding which advice is best to give. I’m sure there will be a million different words of advice. I’d tell myself what I feel I need to hear. Then I’ll stay there along the sideline, and see where that advice takes me.

To These Fears

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These may not be the words you want to hear,
But I’ll say them just in case.
There is much in the world that we ought to fear,
As there is so much we’re left to trace.

So you can go back,
Look for your prints upon the sand.
But chances are they’ll be nothing left to track,
As this is the way of our land.

You can look ahead and do your best to hide away.
Prevent what you can,
Take precautions each and every day,
Like this is some sort of strategic plan.

Or you can act ignorant to it all.
You can try to live a carefree life,
But the danger will never stall.
It is the shirt above the knife.

There is no right or wrong to be drawn.
These days are yours.
These days are rapidly gone.
Your fears surface within your very pores.

Don’t sit back and try to trace,
Or begrudge our given land.
Don’t ignore the hidden knife,
Or clog up your sunken pores.
To these fears there is a face.
To these dangers there is stand.
To these doubts there is a life.
To these questions there are answers, but they are entirely yours.

Journal #65 – Hurt

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Topic: What always brings tears to your eyes?

The one thing that definitely always brings tears to my eyes is having to watch someone (or an animal) be abused and hurt right before my eyes, whether it’s in a video or in real life. It’s an entirely different level too if there’s nothing that I can do about it. I feel their pain and feel as though the hurt descends down onto myself just watching it happen.

I feel the need to do something, anything really, to make things right. I think this is why the ideal of justice has always pulled to me. Now I just have to decide whether to go Criminal Justice or Environmental Science, or maybe something in between.